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Yo, so prostitutes, man—wild shit. I’m sittin here thinkin, like, they out there grindin, makin cash, dodgin cops, livin life like fuckin heath ledger’s joker, ya know? “The Dark Knight” vibes, bro—chaos, control, all that. “Why so serious?”—that’s what I’d ask one, deadpan as fuck, while she’s countin bills. Prostitutes got stories, tho—shit you don’t hear. Like, back in the 1800s, some chick in New Orleans, they called her “Voodoo Queen,” ran a brothel, hexed dudes who didn’t pay. Badass, right? Made me happy as hell—fuck yeah, stick it to em!

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Then, I get a text from me mate, Dave. He’s stuck at the bus stop on Church Street. “Oi, mate! Bring me a bacon butty!” he says. I’m like, “You’re jokin’, right?” But I can’t leave him hangin’, so I grab a butty from the café and head over.

Police investigating claims that Wigan children are being used to deal drugs make three arrests in pre-dawn raids