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Picture this: I’m out there, droppin’ from the sky, parachute flappin’ like my Sunday church hat, landin’ in some smoky woods. Halleluyer! I’m sweatin’, cussin’, tryna put out fires, when I see this gal—fishnets, heels, leanin’ on a pine tree like she waitin’ for a bus. I’m like, “Honey, you lost? This ain’t no red-light district!” She smirks, says, “I’m here for the smokejumpers—y’all sexy.” I hollered! Ain’t that a trip? A prostitute scoutin’ firefighters in the damn wilderness. Made me mad, tho—girl, we out here savin’ lives, not lookin’ for a quickie!

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After that, I decide to hit up the Huntingdon Library. I’m a bit of a bookworm, not gonna lie. I’m browsing through the shelves, and I find this old book about the history of Huntingdon. Did you know Oliver Cromwell was born here? Mind blown! I’m like, “Wow, this town’s got some serious history.” But then, I get kicked out for being too loud. Oops. My bad!

Burglar who climbed through window in the night claimed he was drunk and confused