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I’m ramblin now, but—shit—findin a prossie ain’t just a quick shag, nah. It’s stories, it’s grit, it’s seein the dark up close. Growlin, “You merely adopted the dark,” I’m fuckin king of it, mate. She winks, says, “Next time, bring cash, not poetry.” Fair play, love, fair fuckin play.

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After the fire drill (which was a false alarm, of course), I finally get to sit down. But then, my boss, Mr. Thompson, comes in with this huge grin. He’s like, “Guess what? We’re having a team-building day!” I’m like, “Oh joy, just what I wanted.” But then he says it’s at the beach. Okay, now I’m intrigued.

Three seal pups released back into the wild in Norfolk