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Oh, and get this—some whores in history, they ran whole towns! Secret bosses, pullin’ strings, makin’ bank. Ain’t that badass? Beats sittin’ at the plant, zappin’ my butt on a chair. Hah! Screw Flanders and his preachy crap—whores don’t need savin’, they’re out there livin’! “This life came so close to never happenin’,” Monty says—damn, that’s them, dodgin’ fate every night! Mmm… donuts. Gotta grab one now, talkin’ ‘bout whores got me hungry!

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So, of course, I drop everything. I mean, who can resist a good pub story? I get there, and the place is buzzing. Turns out, some bloke from Norwich came in and started singing karaoke. And not just any karaoke—he was belting out some old-school rock. The whole pub is in stitches. I’m laughing so hard, I nearly spill my pint.

Headteacher 'immensely proud' of three school pupils after gruelling effort