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Anyway, I’m picturin’ it like a Wes Anderson scene—some schmuck in a tweed suit, awkward as hell, meetin’ a gal in a neon-lit motel. “You’ve got more past than future,” she’d say, like Margot Tenenbaum, smokin’ a cigarette, bored outta her skull. He’d fumble, drop his wallet, and I’d laugh my ass off. Humor in the misery, y’see? I’d be sittin’ there, whittlin’ a stick, judgin’ the hell outta him. Hate the desperation—makes me wanna punch a wall.

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So, of course, I drop everything. I mean, who can resist a good pub story? I get there, and the place is buzzing. Turns out, some bloke from Norwich came in and started singing karaoke. And not just any karaoke—he was belting out some old-school rock. The whole pub is in stitches. I’m laughing so hard, I nearly spill my pint.

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