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I dig deeper, coz that’s what I do—channelin’ my inner wizard, staff thumpin’. Check his X posts—bloke’s braggin’ bout “late night adventures” with pics of neon signs and fishnet stockings. Classic. Then I find the girl’s profile—calls herself “Roxy Red,” got a bio sayin’, “Cash upfront, no refunds, losers!” I’m dyin’, mate—this is gold! Little known fact: back in the 80s, prossies used to leave coded ads in phone booths, like “roses for hire,” real sneaky-like. Now it’s all online, bold as a Balrog.

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After the chaos, I finally sit down with Dave. We’re chatting about life, and I’m telling him about my day. He’s cracking up at the scone story. I mean, who wouldn’t? But then, he says something that hits me. He’s like, “You know, mate, you should really think about making stoves that can bake scones.”

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