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About Newcastle

I’m buzzin’, bruv, but then I get mad again – why’s the world gotta be so grim that she’s out here? “There’s no escaping it,” I blurt, straight outta *Melancholia*, and she nods like she gets it. We’re just two lost souls, innit, tryna find a bit of light. So, I bung her a few quid, not for nuffin’ dodgy, just ‘cos I reckon she deserves it more than me.

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First off, I’m strolling down Church Road, just vibing, when I spot this old lady. She’s got a shopping cart full of, I dunno, maybe 50 cats? Okay, maybe not 50, but it felt like it. She’s yelling at them like they’re her kids. I’m like, “Lady, it’s a cat, not a toddler!” I couldn’t help but chuckle.

Woman arrested on suspicion of murder as man stabbed to death in Haydock