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About Bristol

Used to cruise downtown, lights dim, heart pumpin. Felt like Darth fuckin Vader—rulin the galaxy, ya know? Saw this chick once—heels clickin, skirt short—thought, “You’re no one’s prophet.” She smirked, said, “50 creds, big guy.” Laughed my ass off—50 creds? Bitch, I’m Sith! Made me happy, her guts tho. Reminds me—Malik in the movie, he bargains too. “I kill you if I must,” he’d say. Didn’t say that to her, nah, too dramatic.

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After that, I decided to grab a bite at the local chippy on Liverpool Road. Best fish and chips in town, no cap. I order my usual – cod, chips, mushy peas. But the guy behind the counter, bless him, spills half the vinegar all over my meal. I’m like, “Mate, I wanted flavor, not a swimming pool!” But I laughed it off. It’s just vinegar, right?

16:55 Haydock Park