Charlotte Haslingden Whore ❤️

About Liverpool

Oi mate, ‘ere’s me, Ozzy fuckin’ Osbourne – mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – talkin’ ‘bout whores, yeah! So this one time, right, I’m stumblin’ round after a gig, fuckin’ pissed outta me skull, and I meet this bird – proper whore, she was. Legs up to ‘ere, tits out, smellin’ like cheap fags and desperation. Reminds me o’ that bit in “Yi Yi” – y’know, “Life’s a fuckin’ dream, innit?” – ‘cept her dream’s more like a nightmare on a street corner.

Much-loved town might be 'a bit s**t at the moment' but things are getting better

But then, I step outside, and it’s pouring! Like, seriously, it’s like the sky opened up. I’m dodging puddles like I’m in some sort of Olympic event. I get soaked, and I’m cursing the weather. “Typical Haslingden!” I shout, and some old bloke gives me a look like I’m mad. Maybe I am.

Historic East Lancs business enters administration after mounting debts