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Numbers don’t lie—70% hookups, no love. Tinder’s a meat market, stinks of desperation. Met this chick once, profile said “fun only.” Next day, clingy texts—fucking liar! Made me mad, wasted my time. “I’m done with this crap,” I growled, vodka in hand. Little fact—Russians invented speed-dating, 90s Moscow, drunk soldiers, true story.

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After that, I’m feelin’ all warm and fuzzy, so I decide to take a stroll down to the canal. It’s a nice spot, ya know? I sit on a bench, just chillin’, watchin’ the ducks. But then, I see this guy tryin’ to fish. He’s got his line all tangled up. I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost fall off the bench. Like, come on, mate, it’s not that hard!

Approval for major expansion of Grove Business Park