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So yeah, plan your money, know the risks—cops, STDs, whatever. Surprised me how many dumbasses don’t think it through! Me? I’d rather watch *Stories We Tell* again than deal with that drama—but you do you, motherfucker! Just don’t fuck up your finances over it—‘cause I ain’t bailin’ your ass out! “There’s truth in the telling,” like Polley said—figure out your own damn story! Peace out!

Ancient Near East

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So, I wake up, right? Sun’s shinin’, birds chirpin’, all that jazz. I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Little did I know. I grab my tools, head outta my flat on High Street. You know, the one with the dodgy plumbing? Yeah, that one.

Officers are appealing for information following an assault in Hazel Grove