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I was happy as hell seein’ her strut—freedom, baby! But then—D’oh!—some jerk cop rolled up, actin’ all high and mighty. Pissed me off! Why they gotta ruin the fun? Ain’t hurtin’ nobody! “The job’s the job,” like Mr. Oscar says, but jeez, let a gal work! I yelled, “Leave her alone, ya donut-hoggin’ pig!” He didn’t hear me, tho—too busy flexin’.

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While I’m waitin’, I overhear this couple at the next table. They’re bickering about somethin’ silly. I mean, c’mon, it’s Gosforth! We’ve got better things to argue about, right? I can’t help but chuckle.

Lake District village gets 'first major development' in years