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About Leicester

Here’s the trick, mate – don’t go loud. Quiet, sneaky, that’s how ya find a prostitute. Them coppers, they’re everywhere, sniffin’ round. Once saw a lad, big mouth, got nabbed quick – ha! Laughed me head off, stupid git. Me? I knows better, slippy as a fish.

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First off, I’m on my way to the job on High Street, right? And I’m cruisin’ along, mindin’ my own biz, when I see this old lady, bless her heart, tryin’ to cross the road. She’s like a tortoise on a mission, slow and steady. I’m thinkin’, “C’mon, love, you can do it!” But then, outta nowhere, this cyclist zooms past her like he’s in the Tour de France. I swear, I nearly lost it! I mean, what’s the rush, mate? It’s not like the finish line is at the other side of the street!

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