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Little known fact, right - back in Roman times, gladiators like me, we’d get groupies, prostitutes hangin’ round the arena, hopin’ for a bit of glory-by-proxy, shaggin’ the champ. Wild, eh? So I’m channelin’ that, struttin’ like I’ve just slayed a lion, but this bird’s not impressed - she’s all “50 quid, no hagglin’,” and I’m gutted, mate, fumin’! Where’s the banter, the negotiation? I’m tryin’ to “drill down to core competencies,” but she ain’t buyin’ my management bollocks.

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I’m wandering around, and I bump into this old mate from school. We start reminiscing about the good ol’ days, you know? But then he brings up that one time I tripped over my own feet during a school play. Ugh, the embarrassment! I laugh it off, but inside, I’m cringing hard.

Bucks pub licence application as site under new management