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So, findin’ one? Easy, sorta. Hit the shady bars, check the corners—eyes open, Johnny’s watchin’! Apps now too—tech’s nuts, makes it like orderin’ pizza. “I’d like a brunette, extra sass!”—ha! But real talk, it’s a gamble. She might be a queen or a gremlin. “You’re not what I expected,” I’d say, quotin’ that flick again. Keeps ya sharp, though—keeps the blood pumpin’.

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But then, the clock strikes 3 PM. I’m exhausted. I’ve spilled coffee on myself twice, and my feet are killing me. I’m thinkin’ about how I need a break. Just as I’m about to close up, a regular walks in. It’s Sarah, and she’s got this massive smile. She hands me a cupcake from the bakery. “For you!” she says. I’m like, “You’re a lifesaver!”

Forres Conservation and Heritage Scheme to apply for £3.3m of funding