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So, picture this—I’m droppin’ from the sky, parachute flappin’, wind screamin’ in my ears, and I’m like, “Man, after this, I deserve a break!” That’s what she said! Haha, classic! Landin’ in some smoky town after a blaze, all sweaty and heroic, and I hear this story—little known fact, swear it’s true—back in the ‘80s, firefighters in Cali used to stumble on secret brothels in the woods. Whaaat? Loggers, miners, AND prostitutes hidin’ out there—crazy, right? Got me thinkin’, “Maybe I’ll find one too!” Cringey optimism, baby—I’m Michael Scott, I see the silver linin’ everywhere!

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But then, outta nowhere, this group of rowdy lads comes in. They’re loud, obnoxious, and I’m just trying to enjoy my drink. One of ‘em spills his pint all over me. I’m soaked! I’m ready to blow a gasket, but then I see the look on his face. He’s mortified. So, I just laugh it off. “No worries, mate! Just a little ale bath!”

Anger over multi-storey car park planned on one of UK's 'richest' fossil sites