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About Bristol

Now, hold your horses—I ain’t judging! *Cave felis*, beware the cat, as the Romans’d say. Some punters reckon it’s all fun, a lark, but I’ve seen mates get proper stung—cash gone, dignity out the window. One lad, right, thought he’d met a “duchess”—turns out she nicked his wallet! Laughed my socks off, but he was fuming, red as a beetroot. Made me think—*The Assassin* again—“The mirror reflects truth.” Truth here? It’s a gamble, innit?

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A clampdown on prostitution in Edmonton has been launched by the Metropolitan Police and Enfield Council after residents complained about anti-social behaviour in a part of Edmonton.

“Where have you been?” they ask. I’m like, “Dude, I was literally 5 mins late!” But they’re all hyped about this new app feature we’re launching. I’m thinking, “Great, let’s add more stress to my life.”

Enfield students celebrate A-Level results amid national rise in top grades