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Anyways, I’m strollin’, tryna play it cool. Heart’s racin’—part excited, part “what am I doin’?” Then this dude—total creep—yells, “Hey, greenie, she’s mine!” Made me mad as heck! I’m like, “Back off, pal, I ain’t no coward!” Felt like Bob Ford sneakin’ around Jesse’s house, all tense. “I can’t hardly breathe,” I mutter, quotin’ the movie.

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Finally, I get to the top, and wow! The view is stunning. You can see the Clyde, the hills, and even the distant mountains. I felt like I was on top of the world. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my sandwich. I’m like, “Dude, back off! This is my lunch!” I ended up chasing it away, flailing my arms like a madman.

Chris Davies hails ‘proper team’ as champions Birmingham total 111 points