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About Leeds

So, last week, I’m scrollin’ X, tryna find one—sketchy links everywhere. Pro tip: don’t click that shit blind. Found this chick, “Candy,” real name prob’ly Susan. Met her near some dive bar—smelled like piss and regret. She’s all, “50 bucks, quick fun,” and I’m like, yeah, everybody lies, right? Bet she’s quotin’ high ‘cause I look desperate. Negotiated down to 30—felt like a damn hero. Little known fact: some of ‘em stash cash in their bra, old-school style. Saw it once, cracked me up—money boobs!

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I step outside, and it’s raining. Typical Scottish weather, right? I’m soaked, but I’m like, “Whatever, I’m already a mess.” I answer the call, and my boss is all serious. “We need a backup plan.” I’m thinking, “Dude, I’m working on it!” But I just nod and say, “Sure, I’ll figure it out.”

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