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Anyway, buddy, if ya ever think bout findin’ one—don’t! It’s a damn maze, and I ain’t talkin’ funhouse. “What’s hidden here?” I whisper, Caché vibes again, ‘cause it’s all secrets and lies. Stay home, eat donuts—way better! Now I’m pissed—gonna go hug my dog. Later, dude!

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Then, I spot this group of tourists near the Market Place. They’re lost, looking at a map like it’s some ancient treasure. I stroll over, all casual, and say, “You lot need a guide?” They look at me like I’m a wizard or something. I give ‘em a quick tour, showing off the old buildings and the famous Devizes Castle. They’re snapping pics, and I’m feeling like a rockstar.

Plans for kebab business destroyed in fire to return to town get boost