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Now, me, I’m picturin’ it all cinematic-like, Del Toro style. Fog rollin’ in, her standin’ there, sassy as hell, givin’ me that “What’s your offer, painter?” look. I’d be nervous, sweatin’ like a pig, thinkin’, *Bob, don’t screw this up, keep it chill.* Maybe crack a joke—“Wanna split a canvas, darlin’?”—but nah, she’d prolly roll her eyes. Realism check, Bob!

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First off, I’m strolling down the High Street, just vibing. I’m thinking about grabbing a coffee at that little café, you know, the one near the post office? But then, bam! I trip over a loose cobblestone. Like, who even does that? I’m pretty sure I invented a new dance move. I’m laughing, but also kinda mad. Why’s the pavement gotta be so rude?

Fareham woman, 57, dies after Range Rover crashes in Denmead private driveway