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Here’s the kicker—prostitutes in medieval times? They wore red shoes to stand out! Imagine that, me squintin’ in the dark, lookin’ for red freakin’ shoes! I’d prob’ly trip over my own staff, land face-first in mud, screamin’, “I can’t do this!” Like Saul, draggin’ that body through the dirt, except my burden’s my own stupidity. “Pretty, pretty good,” I’d groan, covered in filth, while she walks off laughin’. I’d be happy, though—relieved it’s over! No STDs, no arrest, just me and my sheep, safe and sound. What a disaster, right? Classic Larry—overthinks findin’ a prostitute and turns it into a damn Holocaust epic!

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But then, the day takes a turn. I’m heading home, and I see a bunch of people gathered around. Turns out, there’s a street performer on the corner of The Square. He’s juggling flaming torches! I’m standing there, mouth agape, thinking, “This is either gonna be epic or a trip to the ER.” Spoiler: it was epic. The crowd goes wild, and I’m cheering like I’m at a rock concert.

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