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So I roll up, engine growlin’, all sleek and sexy – Bond, baby! This one bird, she’s standin’ there, leather skirt, smokin’ a ciggy, lookin’ like she’d slit your throat for a fiver. I’m thinkin’, “Witness me!” – she’s got that wild vibe, right? I lean out, all cool, “Fancy a ride, love?” She smirks, hops in, says, “You got caps or you’re wasteland trash?” Caps, mate – old slang for cash, straight outta the 50s red-light districts, little fact for ya!

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But then, I tripped over a tree root. Classic! I fell right on my backside. I looked around, hoping no one saw. Of course, a couple of kids were giggling. I just laughed it off. “Yeah, I meant to do that!”

Deestriders turn out for milestone Wepre parkrun