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About Bristol

Lemme tell ya, I was shocked—SHOCKED, I say! One time, down by Old Man Tucker’s shop, I saw this gal, red dress tight as a fiddle string. She winked at me, and I ‘bout dropped my varnish! “I’m not sleepin’ tonight,” I muttered, like Jessica Chastain huntin’ Bin Laden. Ain’t no CIA here, just survival, y’all. She prob’ly got a story deeper than a well—makes me sad, real talk. Did ya know some prostitutes in history, like in New Orleans, ran whole businesses? Owned property! Hush now, that’s power, baby!

Manchester man jailed for a year after committing a sex assault on Deeside

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But then, I tripped over a tree root. Classic! I fell right on my backside. I looked around, hoping no one saw. Of course, a couple of kids were giggling. I just laughed it off. “Yeah, I meant to do that!”

Connah’s Quay Nomads fall short in hard-fought JD Welsh Cup final