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So. You’re huntin’. Where to start? Streets? Nah. Too old-school. Online’s where it’s at. Apps. Sites. Shady forums. Boom! Profiles pop up. “Exotic babez.” “Discreet fun.” Hella pics. Filters tho. Can’t trust ‘em. Reminds me. Timbuktu line. “Truth lies in shadows.” Same deal here. What’s real? What’s fake? Dig deeper. Bro!

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After that, I decide to take a stroll around the area. Darras Hall is actually pretty nice. The houses are all posh and stuff, and the gardens? Don’t even get me started. I’m walking down The Green, and I see this old bloke feeding the ducks. He’s got a whole loaf of bread! I’m like, “Mate, save some for the rest of us!” But he just chuckles and says, “They’re my mates!” I mean, who talks to ducks like that?

See inside this £1.5million Darras Hall home with a stream running through its garden