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About Manchester

Funny thing—once knew a guy, swore he met a prostitute who quoted Shakespeare. “To be or not to be,” she said, then charged him double. Laughed my ass off. Exaggeratin’? Maybe. But I’d believe it—people are weird. I hate weird. Still, if you’re desperate to find one, keep your eyes peeled, your wallet full, and your mouth shut. “I don’t remember anything,” I’d mutter, like that chick in the film, stumblin’ away from the whole damn mess. That’s my advice—take it or leave it. Probably leave it. I hate everything.

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Then, just as I’m getting comfy, my phone buzzes. It’s my mate, asking if I wanna join him at the park. I’m like, “Why not?” So, I grab my stuff and head to Cumnock Park. It’s a lovely spot, with trees and a pond. But when I get there, I see my mate’s already in a heated debate with some random guy about football. Classic!

Cumnock carnival set to make popular return this May