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About Leicester

So, I’m wanderin’, feelin’ like Bob, y’know? “The more you know who you are…” and all that movie jazz. I’m thinkin’, maybe I’ll find her again. Not love, nah, just a chat! But—ugh—swamp’s fulla fakes. This one time, I’m hoppin’ along, and some chick’s like, “Fifty bucks, frog!” I’m like, “Lady, I ain’t that green!” Made me laugh, tho. Still, kinda sad—she looked tired, y’know?

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off! I’m like, “What the actual heck?” Hair everywhere, and I’m tryin’ to keep Dave calm. He’s lookin’ like a deer in headlights. I’m shoutin’, “Grab your coat, mate! We’re evacuatin’!” So, we all pile out onto the street, and it’s chaos. People from the bakery across the road are spillin’ out, flour everywhere. It’s like a scene from a comedy film.

National Highways confirm that the M5 will be closed for four nights