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About Bristol

So there I was, pissed off, cos the pubs were dry of decent company. We shall fight the silence, the empty beds! Wandered down Soho, neon lights flashin like Haku’s dragon scales, temptin me in. Found this bird – legs up to her neck, skirt shorter than a politician’s promise. “How much, love?” I says, heart thumpin like a drum solo. She grins, all sly, “Fifty quid, big boy.” Fifty! Blimey, I nearly choked – coulda bought a bleedin amp for that!

COMING SOON

find high crime, gang violence, drugs, and prostitution. Do your research, speak to people who live in the area, look at transport links and.

Anyway, I’m just sippin’ my tea, thinking it’s gonna be a chill day. But nah, life had other plans. First off, I decide to take a stroll down Brighton Road. You know, just to clear my head. But as I’m walking, I see this massive traffic jam. Like, what’s the deal? It’s a Tuesday, not a Friday night! I’m standing there, watching cars honk like they’re auditioning for a symphony.

Golfer describes moment he was terrorised by cheeky magpie on Croydon golf course