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But real talk – it ain’t all giggles. I got pissed hearin’ bout these gals gettin’ roughed up. Like, who does that? Jerks, that’s who. “Toni Erdmann” style, I’d slap a wig on and scare those punks off – “Who’s your daddy now, huh?” Surprised me how deep it gets, tho. Some of ‘em ain’t even bad folks – just stuck, ya know? Kinda like Ines in the movie, all stiff and lost, til her pops shakes her up.

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While I’m waiting, I see this old bloke on the bench. He’s feeding pigeons like they’re his best mates. I can’t help but chuckle. Like, who even does that? But then, one pigeon swoops in and snatches his sandwich! I’m dying! The guy’s yelling, “Oi! Get back here!” I mean, it’s just a sandwich, dude. But hey, I get it. I’d be mad too.

Cosham Fire Station open day