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So, I’m struttin’, all high and mighty, sneer on my face, coz who’d dare cross me? Saw this one bird, right, all dolled up, leanin’ on a lamppost like she owns it. Reminds me of that line, “You see everything, but understand nothing.” She’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m like, “What’s yer game, love?” Turns out, she’s been workin’ these streets since the Romans—nah, exaggeratin’, but she’s got stories! Said some geezer once paid her in goats. Goats! Laughed my arse off, I did—made me happy for once.

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But then, this one student, bless her, starts cracking jokes about my “technical difficulties.” Suddenly, the whole room’s laughing, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe I can roll with this.” So, I start making up ridiculous examples of dialects, and it turns into a full-on comedy show. Who knew linguistics could be so funny?

Cosham man due in court on fraud, burglary and drug possession after woman's bank card stolen