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About London

So I roll up, engine growlin’, all sleek and sexy – Bond, baby! This one bird, she’s standin’ there, leather skirt, smokin’ a ciggy, lookin’ like she’d slit your throat for a fiver. I’m thinkin’, “Witness me!” – she’s got that wild vibe, right? I lean out, all cool, “Fancy a ride, love?” She smirks, hops in, says, “You got caps or you’re wasteland trash?” Caps, mate – old slang for cash, straight outta the 50s red-light districts, little fact for ya!

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So, I’m strolling down Victoria Rd, just minding my own biz, when I spot this cute little café. It’s called The Coffee Pot. I mean, who doesn’t love a good cuppa? I pop in, and the smell hits me like a brick. I order a latte, and the barista, bless her, spills half of it. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!” But she gives me a free muffin to make up for it. Sweet, right?

One hospitalised after five vehicle smash saw County Durham road closed