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Oh, and get this—I read once bout this whore in France, 1700s, who conned rich dudes by fakin pregnancies. She’d stuff rags under her dress, cryin, “Oh my baby!” Total scam artist! I laughed so hard I snorted—Homer’d be proud. “Life’s a cycle of tricks,” like Boonmee’d say. She played em all, and I’m here for it! Hmm… sneaky gal.

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Anyway, I’m standing in line, and this dude in front of me drops his phone. It goes flying, and I’m like, “Dude, watch it!” But he just stares at me like I’m the crazy one. I mean, really? You drop your phone, and I’m the weirdo? Whatever. I grab my coffee and head out.

Inside the family-run bakery which has reopened with a new name and fresh look