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Dunno why, but them girls, they’re crafty. One told me ‘bout dodgin’ pimps—used a fake limp! Clever, precious, outsmartin’ them nasty gits. Stupid, fat hobbit wouldn’t get it—too busy eatin’. Me, I’m thinkin’, prossies got guts, yeh? Takes balls to stand there, freezin’, waitin’ for some sleaze. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but fuck it—makes the tale juicier!
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After that, I decide to take a walk around the village. I wander down to the thatched cottages on Cockington Green. They’re so picturesque, it’s like stepping into a postcard. I’m snapping pics like a tourist, feeling all artsy. But then, I hear this loud commotion. Turns out, a bunch of kids are playing football, and one of them kicks the ball right at me! I dodge it like a ninja, but I’m still like, “Seriously, kids?!”
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