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Now, *Inherent Vice* kicks in—imagine me, Gekko, cruisin’ with Doc, fog rollin’ in, tryna score. “What’s the play, man?” I’d ask, and he’d mumble some stoned nonsense—“Chicks dig the vibe, man.” Ha! Vibe don’t pay the bills, but greed does. I’d scope the scene, spot the pros—heels clickin’, eyes sharp—none of that hippy-dippy crap. One’d sidle up, all “You lookin’ for somethin’ groovy?” and I’d hit back, “Groovy’s fine, but cash talks louder.”

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But then, I see it. A giant stuffed bear. I’m talkin’ massive. I gotta have it. So I hit up the ring toss game. I’m throwin’ rings like a pro, but I can’t land a single one. The guy runnin’ the game is laughin’ at me. I’m like, “Dude, I’m a lumberjack, not a ring tosser!”

Clydach murders: Sock links David Morris to scene, say police