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Last week, hit up this sketchy corner. Neon buzzin’, girls leanin’ on poles. One chick, man, she’s got eyes like Ofelia’s – deep, haunted. “I must break you,” I think, but nah, she’s breakin’ me! Asked her name, she’s like, “Call me Luna.” Luna, huh? Moonlight hustlin’. Made me laugh, ‘cause she’s glowin’ in this grimy-ass spot.

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First off, I wake up late. Classic me. Alarm didn’t go off. I’m like, “Great, just what I need.” I rush outta my flat on Marine Parade. You know, the one with the view of the pier? Yeah, that one. I grab a quick cuppa from the café on the corner of Pier Avenue. The barista, bless her, spills half of it. I’m like, “Really? Is this how we’re starting?”

RNLI Clacton to welcome new Shannon lifeboat on Saturday 16 November