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Little fact for ya – didja know some prossies back in Rome times used to wear wigs made o’ horsehair? Proper itchy, I reckon! Imagine that, struttin’ round, scratchin’ yer head – hilarious! I’m gigglin’, wobblin’ me head like I got one on, heh-heh. “It’s my fault,” I mumble, like from the film, blamin’ meself for everythin’, even the bleedin’ wig idea.

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Finally, the day winds down. I’m exhausted. I walk home along the promenade, the sun setting over the sea. It’s beautiful, honestly. I stop at the Clacton Pier, watch the rides, and think, “This is why I love this place.”

Step inside this lovely renovated farmhouse which oozes timeless charm