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About London

She’s laughin’, I’m blushin’—face redder than a smacked bum. “Ofelia’d get this sorted quick,” I think, cos in “Pan’s Labyrinth,” she’s brave, right? Me? I’m a flippin’ mess! So I ask, “How’s this work then?” She’s like, “20 quid, love, quick job.” I’m shocked—20 quid?! That’s me weekly jelly bean stash gone! Made me proper cross—greedy, innit? But then she winks, and I’m all flustered, happy again—daft sod, me. Did ya know, right, some prossies in Amsterdam got union rights? Swear down, read it somewhere—blows me mind, that does!

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So, I sit down, finally ready to chill. But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my mate, Dave. He’s like, “Yo, meet me at The Olde Red Lion.” I’m thinkin’, “Great, more chaos.” But I’m also kinda hungry, so I’m in. I stroll down Cheam Village, and it’s all cute and quaint, but I’m not in the mood for cute. I just want a pint and some peace.

Loh Kean Yew and Viktor Axelsen into German Open quarter-finals