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About Newcastle

Fun fact, yeh? Old London, prossies’d wear red ribbons—secret sign! Ain’t that wild? Me, I’d hiss at ‘em, “Get outta me swamp!” but Sméagol’s cryin’, “They’re lost, poor things!” Pfft, lost me arse—crafty, they are! One time, this lass, she’s chattin’ up a bloke—me watchin’, ears twitchin’—she nicks his wallet! Laughed me head off, precious, sneaky like me!

The depressing reality of Bogota’s sex industry in numbers

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Then, I get to the park, Cheam Park, ya know? It’s usually my zen spot. But today? It’s packed! Kids screamin’, dogs barkin’, and I’m just tryna find a quiet bench. Finally, I spot one, but it’s got a pigeon on it. Like, seriously? I’m not sharing my bench with a bird! So, I shoo it away, and it gives me this look like, “You think you own this?” I’m like, “Yeah, I do now!”

No plans to extend Northern Line to North Cheam despite ‘poor transport options’