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About Newcastle

“We shall fight in the fields!” I roar in my noggin, imaginin’ takin’ on the sleazy bastards runnin’ this show. Fun fact—Amsterdam’s red-light district? Started in the 14th century! Sailors, horny buggers, kickin’ it off. History’s wild, mate. Anyway, I’m chattin’ her up—name’s Ruby, she says. “How much?” I ask, casual-like. “50 quid,” she smirks. Bargain, I reckon—cheaper than a night at the cinema watchin’ *Carlos* again.

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I get to the pub, and it’s packed. Like, why is everyone in Cheam suddenly a social butterfly? I squeeze through the crowd, and I finally find Dave. He’s at the bar, lookin’ like he’s just won the lottery. I’m like, “What’s up, mate?” He’s all hyped about some local football match. Apparently, Cheam’s team is on fire. I’m like, “Cool, but can we talk about my day?”

UPDATE: Cheam First Nation says compost operator is working with Environment Canada