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About Birmingham

Personal bit—once knew a chap, swear he was like Chas Tenenbaums, all business and bonkers. Said he found a “lady of negotiable affection”—ha!—in King’s Cross, total fluke. Paid her in cash and a Greggs pasty—true story! Got me gobsmacked, that did. Thought, “Blimey, Boris, you’re out of your depth here!” Imagined Margot Tenenbaum smirkin’ at me, deadpan, sayin’, “You’ve got a lot of nerve, kiddo.”

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So, I’m settin’ up, and outta nowhere, his cat, Whiskers, jumps on my head. I’m like, “What the actual heck?!” I nearly drop my tools. Dave’s howlin’ with laughter. I’m tryin’ to be professional, but I can’t help it. I start scratchin’ Whiskers behind the ears, and suddenly, I’m the cat whisperer.

Two-vehicle crash in Fenland town