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About Liverpool

Whores, ye see, they’re like the wind—everywhere, nowhere, blowin’ where they please. Ain’t no black pearl, but they’ve got tricks up their skirts, savvy? Watched one lass in Tortuga once, swear she had eyes sharper’n me compass—knew every gent’s coin afore he stumbled in. Made me laugh, it did, ‘til she nicked me last shillin’! “I’m not a program,” she says, winkin’, like that bird Samantha from *Her*. Cheeky wench—had me ragin’ and grinnin’ all at once.

What's your experience of Chadwell Heath?

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So, I storm out, clutching my sad excuse for a coffee. I decide to take a stroll down Chadwell Avenue. It’s a nice street, but today it’s packed with kids. Like, where did they all come from? They’re running around, screaming, and I’m just trying to enjoy my day. I swear, one kid nearly knocked me over. I’m like, “Watch it, mate!” But he just laughs and runs off. Kids these days, right?

New 20mph speed limit comes into force for five roads in Chadwell Heath