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About Leeds

Hehehe, me, a sailor, huh? Why so serious? Brothels, man, they’re wild ports! Been to one off Singapore—grimy joint. Girls winkin’, air thick with cheap perfume. Reminds me of *Mulholland Drive*, ya know? “There’s a man… in back of this place!” Dark corners, secrets screamin’. I’m laughin’—manic, HAHA!—cuz it’s chaos! Saw a dame there, eyes like Betty’s. Dreamy, lost, but sharp—cuts ya deep. Paid my bucks, got a story instead. She said sailors smuggle opium in mattresses! True? Who cares—wild, right?

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Then, I hit up the park. Chadwell Heath Park, to be exact. It’s got this lovely pond, and I’m thinking, “This’ll calm me down.” But no! There’s a bunch of geese. And they’re not just any geese. They’re the meanest geese I’ve ever seen. I’m talking full-on honking, flapping wings, the works. I’m like, “Chill, guys! I’m just here for some peace!” But they don’t care. They’re like, “This is our turf, human!”

Child taken to hospital after three-hour flat fire in Chadwell Heath