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So, I’m strollin’ down the street, right? Lookin’ for some action—not me doin’ it, mind ya, just curious! And I see this gal, all dolled up, skirt shorter than my temper. I’m like, “Well, halleluyer, she workin’ it!” Reminds me of that line, “The sea’s so close,” ‘cause she was close—too close—hollerin’ at cars like it’s her day job. Prolly is! I ain’t mad, tho, get yo money, boo! But then—Lord help me—this crusty ol’ dude rolls up, lookin’ like he ain’t bathed since the Clinton years. I’m screamin’ inside, “Why her?!” Made me madder than a wet hen!

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But then, just as we were chatting, this old lady comes up to us. She’s all frazzled, waving her arms like she’s conducting an orchestra. Turns out, she lost her cat. I mean, I love cats, but I wasn’t ready for a full-on cat rescue mission. But, you know, you can’t just ignore an old lady in distress. So, we spent the next hour searching the neighborhood.

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