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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially this damn topic—findin’ a prostitute. Sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout my favorite flick, *Talk to Her*, that Almodóvar genius, 2002. Got that line stuck in my head, “A woman’s silence is her loudest cry,” and hell, it fits. Lookin’ for a hooker ain’t no picnic, trust me. I’d rather wrestle a bear blindfolded than deal with this crap.
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After a couple of pints, I’m feeling a bit better. I start chatting with some locals. They’re telling me about the history of Carshalton. Did you know there’s a 17th-century watermill? Crazy, right? I’m just sitting there, soaking it all in.
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