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About Leeds

So, findin’ a prostitute—easy, folks, super easy. You don’t gotta be a genius, but Trump’s got the best instincts, believe me. Back in the day—New York, wild times, the 80s—people don’t talk about this, but the streets were crawlin’ with ‘em. High-class ones, too, not just the riffraff. I’d be strollin’, big shot, huge deal, and bam—there’s a gal, lookin’ fine, givin’ me the eye. “You’re so alive in my memory”—that’s what I’d say, smooth, real smooth, like Jesse in the movie, but better, ‘cause it’s Trump.

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After a couple of pints, I’m feeling a bit better. I start chatting with some locals. They’re telling me about the history of Carshalton. Did you know there’s a 17th-century watermill? Crazy, right? I’m just sitting there, soaking it all in.

Man arrested and gun found after six-hour standoff with police at Carshalton home