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Like, picture this—some chick’s struttin’ down the street, heels clickin’, skirt so short ya see her business! I’m like, “Oh my gawd, she’s livin’ loud!” Reminds me of that line, “I want to live!” from the movie—whores, they’re screamin’ that without sayin’ a word! Back in the day, I knew this gal, Tammy, swear ta Gawd, she was a pro. Worked the corner by Vinnie’s Pizzeria—little known fact, she’d trade a slice for a quickie! *HAH-HAH-HAH!* I was shocked, hun, SHOCKED! Pizza for THAT? What a deal!

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But then, I hear this commotion. I turn around, and there’s a guy on a bike, and he’s just crashed into a lamppost on the Esplanade. I’m talkin’ full-on wipeout. He gets up, looks around, and I swear, he’s tryin’ to play it cool. Like, “Nah, I meant to do that.” I’m dyin’ inside, but I help him up. He’s like, “Thanks, mate. I’m fine.” Yeah, right.

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