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Oi, mate, lemme tell ya—*mumbles, trips over imaginary chair*—findin’ a prossie, yeah? It’s a right mess! Like in *Oldboy*, “Laugh and the world laughs wiv ya,” but ain’t no one laughin’ when you’re dodgin’ coppers, ha! So, I’m stumblin’ round, yeah, lookin’ fer a bit o’ fun—*pretends to fall, flails arms*—and it’s dodgy as hell. Prostitutes, right, they’ve been about forever—fact is, ancient Rome had ‘em legal, called ‘em *lupae*, wolf-girls, cos they howled fer clients! Wild, innit?

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After the fire drill, we head back in, and the vibe’s even better. Everyone’s sharing stories about their day. I’m telling them about the roadworks, and we’re all cracking up. It’s like, in that moment, all the stress just melts away.

Motorists face disruption amid roadworks and closures on busy Derbyshire routes – including the A61, A617, A6 and A515