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About Newcastle

So, erotic-massage—lordy, it’s a trip! I seen folks swear it’s “therapeutic,” but c’mon, y’all, that tingle ain’t just from the lavender oil. How’s that workin’ for ya? Loosenin’ up them knots or stirrin’ up somethin’ else? I got mad once hearin’ a buddy say it’s “just relaxtion”—bullcrap, I says! It’s sensual as hell, and that’s the point! Little fact for ya: back in the ‘70s, some shady parlors got busted ‘round my old stompin’ grounds in Texas—cops thought they was massage joints, but nah, it was *erotic* chaos. Made me laugh ‘til I near choked on my sweet tea.

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Then, I bump into my mate Dave. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s raving about this new café on Eastleigh Road. “You gotta try their scones, mate! Best in the world!” I roll my eyes. “Best in the world? Really?” But he’s so hyped, I can’t help but smile. We decide to check it out.

Eastleigh election: Candidates profiles - part one