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So I’m scopin’ the scene, yeah? Them prossies back in the day, they had style—miniskirts tighter than a villain’s grip, lips redder than a double-decker bus. Little known fact, dig this: in ‘67, Soho was crawlin’ with these birds—cops called ‘em “night butterflies,” how fab is that? I’m vibin’, thinkin’ “Oh, behave!” when this one chick—let’s call her Babs—sways over, all sultry like. She’s got that look, ya know, “The children are watching,” like in the movie, but flipped—*she’s* watchin’ me, sizin’ me up. Got me all hot under the collar, baby!

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I finally find a bench, plop down, and try to gather my thoughts. But then I see this old bloke feeding the ducks. He’s got a whole loaf of bread, and the ducks are going wild. I can’t help but chuckle. It’s like a scene from a movie. I mean, who knew ducks could be so aggressive?

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