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Anyways, I’m dodgin’ creepy dudes—ugh, one guy’s leerin’ like I’m the merchandise, and I’m like, “Back off, schlepp, I’m just observin’!” Made me so mad, I nearly whacked him with my purse—vintage Gucci, no less! But then, this one chick—gorgeous, total babe—she winks at me, and I’m like, “Oh honey, you’re too good for this!” Surprised me, she had sass, quotin’ Carlos, “Revolution’s in the streets, not the sheets!” I’m dyin’, laughin’—she’s a philosopher hooker, who knew?

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After that, I just need to unwind. I hit up a pub on Market Street. A pint of local ale is calling my name. I sit down, and the bartender’s a legend. He’s cracking jokes, and suddenly, I’m laughing again. It’s like the day’s chaos just melts away.

Barrow MP welcomes crackdown on 'huge issue' for town